Failure at Life

I have to have a sense of humor about life, otherwise I would have ended it a long time ago (and since I don't believe in an afterlife, ending it means the end). I say this, because of what happened to me a few nights ago.

I wasn't feeling well, still dealing with the depression over the jobloss, so I was yelling* at some overweight kid on the TV (400 at 16 was the title or something like that) when I decided to make some popcorn.

I put it in the microwave, turn it on and sit back down.

2 minutes later I get back up when it goes off and open the door to a flat popcorn bag.

It hadn't popped at all.

I didn't know what to do, nothing like that had even happened. I had underpopped bags or burnt them, but I have never had popcorn not pop at all. I am not even sure how I messed it up.
So I did what I always do when something goes wrong and I don't know why, I did it again with a different bag. Same thing happened.

Somehow I critically fumbled my rolls on knowledge(microwave) and Knowledge(popcorn) twice in one night.

* I wasn't yelling at the kid because he was overweight, I'm overweight, that'd be just dumb. I was yelling because he was saying a gasteric bypass was the only way he would live, and that is just stupid. He is 400 pounds. Stop fucking eating garbage and you will live. Same thing with the mother, she was crying because her baby might die. He wouldn't be 400 pounds if she would stop giving him that third helping of food everynight.